Sweet Jules

( I was pregnant in above picture, not just chubby...)

Last night I couldn't sleep. This happens a lot. I think it is because I am waiting around for Carver to wake up and need me. Hopefully I will eventually get over this. When I can't sleep my mind wanders to a variety of subjects, jumping from place to place with little rhyme or reason. On this particular night it landed on Julia, and I realized that Julia is the first baby that I ever loved. And, loving her taught me a different kind of love. That fierce protectiveness that comes from loving something younger and smaller than you. The kind of love that makes you realize that you could be completely selfless, surrender your wants and desires for those that are best for that child. Loving Jules showed me that I could be a parent. That I could survive that kind of terrifying love and protectiveness.

Julia has been, and always will be, one of the most precious parts of my life. It's simple, I adore her. So many moments over the last 12 years have come together to make up the story of our special relationship. These are just a few.

* Lyle and I sleeping in the hospital waiting room, anxious for Julia to enter the world. And when she did I thought she was the most beautiful baby I had ever seen.
* Lyle using baby Julia as a way to attract the attention of girls (mostly at the Youth Fair, he said it was "better than a puppy.")
* The first time baby Julia had a true "belly laugh."
* The first time she said my name. Then having to listen to her scream my name when I left her at day care, begging me to come back. About broke my heart.
* Early morning babysitting responsibilities my freshman year in college. Courtney would bring Jules over bright and early and put her in bed with me. Jules would usually only fall asleep if she was laying on my chest. I didn't care as long as she slept.
* Many other babysitting opportunities, usually involved eating out. Jules would pick McDonald's and I would veto and choose something better. Luckily, she LOVED mac and cheese from Outback.
* Watching Jules play soccer when she was 4 (I think), and trying not to laugh when she wanted to stomp off the field.
* Giving her caffeinated coke when she was super young. Just because I thought it was funny.
* Knowing that I was her favorite :)
* Hearing her use "perforated" correctly in a sentence when she was about 3 years old.
* Shopping at the mall when she had an "accident" on the floor in Bath and Body Works....no change of clothes. She left the mall with a whole new outfit, head to toes.
* Living with Court and Jules my last year at UF and decorating my bedroom door with Julia's artwork.
* Introducing Julia to Crestridge as a 5 year old.
* Playing in the snow in Asheville.* Making pumpkin muffins.

* Trip to Disney for her 8th birthday. They mistakenly gave us a room with one bed-- I had to line the center of the bed with pillows and forbid her from crossing it. She's a nightmare to sleep with, she's clingy :)
* Julia as my precious and beautiful flower girl.
* Julia visiting us in GA, and introducing her to Strong Rock Camp.
* Introducing Julia to Carver and watching her hold my precious son. They are two great loves of my life.