Carver-- 2 1/2 Years

On June 21st, Carver officially turned 2 1/2. That means it is time for an update on this sweet and crazy boy of mine.

Carver has grown and changed in incredible ways these last 6 months. He has a very strong will, a unique personality, and a very fiery temper. He loves to be held and read to and cuddled with. He is slowly becoming more and more verbal but despite his lack of words he communicates very clearly and can understand everything we say to him-- though he often chooses to ignore us.

To be honest, this firstborn child of ours is a total mess. He is bursting with energy and is very opinionated. His favorite pastime, I am convinced, is trying to drive me crazy. And he is usually successful. But he is so cute in his obnoxiousness that it is hard to stay frustrated with him. He is a complete handful and challenges me in a dozen ways every single day. Rumor has it that I was a little difficult as a child also-- so I guess I deserve this.

We just can't keep him out of/off of Carson's baby gear...

I love it that Carver does not have a shy bone in his body. He jumps right in to any new situation. He is rarely intimidated by anything or anyone. He is incredibly secure. At the park or the museum or church he will run full-speed ahead and only occasionally look back to see if we are following him. He makes friends at the park, follows them around, and thinks they are absolutely hilarious.

He absolutely loves for us to read to him. I think he would sit and be read to all day. He has his favorite books and would listen to them dozens of times a day. He brings me a book, already opened to the first page and if I don't immediately take it he grabs my hand to force me to. When he wants a snack he pulls me out of my chair and drags me into the pantry in the kitchen. If he wants something in another room he will lead me in there to get what he wants. See, who needs words?

He has become a picky eater, which makes me very sad. It is a struggle to get him to eat anything healthy or substantial. If it isn't a snack food then he is not interested. I've had to become pretty firm about this which has led to a lot of really fun altercations.

There is nothing in the world Carver loves more than playing outside, especially if it involves water. We play with his water table and pool, and spend countless hours just playing with a water hose. Daniel has been taking him out to camp some evenings to take part in their evening activities and Carver adores this. His Daddy is his favorite person on earth right now.

Playing in a rain mud puddle.

Recently Carver has had a difficult time transitioning to having Carson in the house and no longer getting our undivided attention. He is acting out in extreme ways right now-- tantrums, kicking, hitting, crying, screaming, etc. It is incredibly frustrating, and even though I understand it and know why he is acting the way he is, it is still really hard to be patient. I just want my sweet boy back. We are having a hard time determining what method of discipline/behavior modification works with him. I don't want to have that crazy, terrible, uncontrollable child-- the thought horrifies me. So, what to do? I have no idea.

He has sweet moments too...

like sharing his pacifiers with his little brother.

One of the hardest things we are dealing with is Carver's sleep issues. Nap time and bed time have been such easy parts of our days for at least the last 18 months. Carver has always been incredibly easy to put down for his nap and at night. He would go right to sleep, usually not making any noise at all. Lately, however, it has been crazy. I'm not sure if it is an issue with transitioning to a twin bed, or an issue with moving, or acting out with all of the other changes in our lives right now (Carson), but for whatever reason Carver has been impossible to get to bed lately. He screams for at least an hour or two at night, and for awhile at nap time also. He gets out of bed, turns on his light, kicks his door... He almost always falls asleep out of his bed, then we have to decide whether to pick  him up or leave him there. Never an easy decision. He also wakes up exceptionally early these days-- usually before 6:00 a.m. He even wakes up during the night some these days also. This has been a really frustrating new development for us.

Some of his current favorite phrases and words:

* Counting-- 2-10; not sure why he leaves off one, but we are working on it.

* Letters-- He knows almost all letters of the alphabet, though he does not say them in order yet.

* "___________," where are you? (fill in the blank with Lea, Winston, or Daddy, usually)

* Here you go

* Here you go, thank you, welcome (said all together as one phrase)

* Thank you, welcome, mom

* He has started referring to Daniel's dad as Papi (instead of Papa); He calls my mom Gama.

* Wow, or wowee

He says a lot more than this, but these are the current favorites. He'll repeat almost any words we say to him. So, his speech is really starting to develop rapidly.

I can't believe that in six short months I'll be throwing Carver his 3rd birthday party. It seems impossible. I can't wait to see what the future holds for Carver as he starts preschool in August (2 mornings a week), and as he learns to be a big brother to Carson. The next months should be interesting.

Carson-- 1 Month

Carson Miles-- 1 Month Old

 Today Carson is one month old and, as expected, this first month has flown by in a blur of sleep deprivation. Having a second child is probably the most stressful thing I have ever experienced. Trying to meet the needs of both boys is such an overwhelming challenge. But the excitement of having this precious new boy far outweighs any negative emotion I might be having.

We are really tired and really overwhelmed, but really blessed.

Carson is a little more...difficult than I anticipated. I  was completely and utterly convinced that Carson would be an easy child-- everything that Carver wasn't. I was sure he would sleep all the time, never spit up, love his swing and pack n' play, and bouncy seat. This, however, is not the case.

Carson does sleep a lot, but only while being held. He eats extremely well, every two hours around the clock. He spits up all day long-- insane amounts for such a tiny body. He hates baths and has an ear piercing scream.

He also loves to cuddle and take naps with  me. He is very alert and watches everything very intently. He gets chubbier by the day.

We are starting to get into a routine, though certainly not a schedule of any sort. I am hoping to start working on that during this next month.

The last few weeks, though exhausting, have held the usual wonder that you feel when you have this new little family member. Each day is inherently exciting because babies change every single day. I love to watch him sleep, and hold him close and just cherish these tiny moments that will be gone far too soon.

Here are some pics from Carson's first month of life.

The Big Day

On Friday, May 25th the BIG DAY finally arrived-- Carson's birthday! I feel like I had been waiting so long for the day to arrive. Since Carson was born via scheduled c-section, that specific date had been planned as his birthday since very early in the pregnancy. I didn't know, of course, if he would arrive earlier, but I always knew that by the 25th that sweet baby would be with us.

Heading in to the hospital..

I think it took Carson's birth experience to really reveal to me how very, very hard Carver's birth was. This time there was no preeclampsia, no traumatic water breaking, no visit from paramedics, no magnesium, no insane bleeding, no lingering illness after the birth-- it was all so much easier this time around. Not that recovery has been super easy-- but it doesn't even compare to the first time around.

C-sections are unpleasant. They just are. Surgery is intimidating. I panic every time I get into the operating room and have to have extra medications, I get so overwhelmed feeling every pull, and tug as they work to pull the babies out. It feels almost traumatic. Not painful-- just an alien feeling. It's bizarre and hard to explain.

He was super mad about his bath :)

What the two births did have in common, of course, was the completely overwhelming emotion of welcoming my new son into the world. Finally seeing his face after all these months of carrying him, praying for him, worrying about him, and anticipating his arrival. There is no feeling in the world quite like it. Their two births-- as unpleasant as they physically were-- are the two most defining moments of my life.

Carson's birth was fairly quick. I was actually have semi-regular contractions when I arrived at the hospital. Having a scheduled c-section is pretty nice-- bags are packed, house was cleaned and organized, hair was washed, legs shaved, etc. It's nice to be prepared. My c-section was scheduled for noon, so we didn't even have to particularly rush to get to the hospital in the morning. Nice.

The weekend in the hospital was a special time. Since I did not have preeclampsia I was able to enjoy those first hours and days so much more than before. The way I felt, physically, was overall pretty decent so the two days at the hospital were much more memorable. I loved having Daniel there for the two full days. Time for us to bond over this precious boy. My mom was also able to be at the hospital-- which was nice. Sometimes, no matter how old you get, you just need your mom.

On Saturday, I had an incredible surprise visitor-- Brooke stopped by to see me and Carson. What a blessing this was! I so loved seeing my best friend there, loving on Carson, taking the time to make a special trip to share in this moment with me. And she gave me such sweet, handmade, gifts for the baby. I am so thankful for her, and for the lifelong friendship we have been able to share.

Of course, one of the best moments of the weekend was seeing Carver meet Carson. He came in the hospital room with Daniel and we had a moment of just our family, introducing the two boys. Carver immediately said "hi," waved at Carson, and then proceeded to quickly lose interest and just want to explore the hospital room. Overall a successful first encounter I would say :)

We are really thankful to my mom and Daniel's parents who took turns taking care of Carver so that we had no worries about him and were able to focus on Carson.

When we brought Carson home on Sunday Carver seemed pretty excited. He "helped" Daniel carry Carson into the house. He likes to pull his caps off and pet Carson's head. He brings him blankets and tries to rock him if he is in his carseat. Carver sits right next to me when I am feeding Carson or just holding him, sometimes trying to sit in  my lap also, but never seeming frustrated with Carson or jealous of him. It has been an extremely easy transition for him so far-- smoother than I could have ever imagined. I think he is going to be an incredible big brother.

I am so thankful for my boys. So blessed beyond measure that I am their mom.

I'm pretty sure I didn't truly understand love until they arrived. My heart feels like it will burst. I know our lives have just become that much harder, that much more stressful, and that much more exhausting. But it is worth it. It is so worth it.