I.Can't.Believe.It.
I can say with all honesty that I have loved every one of Carver's phases, as documented here in his month-by-month status updates. There are a few things, however, that I will sorely miss. These things I have imprinted on my mind and recorded in my soul. So many moments will be forgotten over the passage of time--but, these things-- I will remember every tiny detail.
1) The overwhelming emotion captured in that one day when your first child is born. Fear, excitement, worry, exhilaration, love, awe...the lists goes on.
2) This face:
They change so quickly. It was a matter of days before he no longer looked just like this. But, this is how he looked, that first time I saw my son-- I'll never forget the details of his precious face on that night.
3) Exhaustion. Sheer, utter, mind-numbing exhaustion. Followed by several weeks of extreme illness where I was sure I would die. Perhaps this isn't a pleasant memory, but it is a strong one.
4) We quickly realized that we had to break the nights up into "shifts." Daniel took the first, I took the second and then either my mom or Daniel's mom took the third. One of the most precious memories I have of those first weeks is of crawling into bed with Daniel after my shift and both of us being far too exhausted for words-- but he would reach over and hold my hand, and that is how I would fall asleep.
5) I was overwhelmed during those first months because Carver rarely let us put him down. During the times when I struggled the most I was comforted by the idea that years later I would look back and know that I held my son for most of the first 6 weeks of his life. Literally held him in my arms.
6) I miss middle of the night feedings. Really, I do. I miss those hours where the house was dark and quiet. I would sit on the couch, watching shows I had taped throughout the day (anything to avoid late night infomercials), while Carver ate and then slept. Usually I would sleep some too-- sitting up, holding Carver. I don't wish Carver still got up that often-- trust me, we did that for nine long months. But, I miss the quiet time-- when it was just the two of us.
7) I really miss the months before Carver could roll over. We would spend hours in bed together. Me dozing while he kicked and "talked," and moved his little arms and legs around. He would do this for an hour or two in the mornings and then fall back asleep for awhile. Which meant there was a stretch of time when I didn't have to get up until 11:00 a.m. or so. It was nice. Really nice.
8) I have loved the whole process of learning to do things with a child. At the beginning even simple things seemed so impossible once you threw a child into the mix. But, it was very satisfying--the process of realizing that I can manage to do just about anything with him that I need to.
9) In general, I really miss certain sounds he has made in the past and then stopped making-- or tricks and gestures that he only did for a phase and then moved on to other things. I wish he would learn new things, but keep the old cute little things too...
10) I miss his baby yawns...
And just for fun, here are a couple of things I do not miss.
1) Spitting-up-- Not gone, but very infrequent now.
2) Swaddling-- I liked that it helped him sleep, but I hated the process of swaddling him.
4) We quickly realized that we had to break the nights up into "shifts." Daniel took the first, I took the second and then either my mom or Daniel's mom took the third. One of the most precious memories I have of those first weeks is of crawling into bed with Daniel after my shift and both of us being far too exhausted for words-- but he would reach over and hold my hand, and that is how I would fall asleep.
5) I was overwhelmed during those first months because Carver rarely let us put him down. During the times when I struggled the most I was comforted by the idea that years later I would look back and know that I held my son for most of the first 6 weeks of his life. Literally held him in my arms.
6) I miss middle of the night feedings. Really, I do. I miss those hours where the house was dark and quiet. I would sit on the couch, watching shows I had taped throughout the day (anything to avoid late night infomercials), while Carver ate and then slept. Usually I would sleep some too-- sitting up, holding Carver. I don't wish Carver still got up that often-- trust me, we did that for nine long months. But, I miss the quiet time-- when it was just the two of us.
7) I really miss the months before Carver could roll over. We would spend hours in bed together. Me dozing while he kicked and "talked," and moved his little arms and legs around. He would do this for an hour or two in the mornings and then fall back asleep for awhile. Which meant there was a stretch of time when I didn't have to get up until 11:00 a.m. or so. It was nice. Really nice.
8) I have loved the whole process of learning to do things with a child. At the beginning even simple things seemed so impossible once you threw a child into the mix. But, it was very satisfying--the process of realizing that I can manage to do just about anything with him that I need to.
9) In general, I really miss certain sounds he has made in the past and then stopped making-- or tricks and gestures that he only did for a phase and then moved on to other things. I wish he would learn new things, but keep the old cute little things too...
10) I miss his baby yawns...
And just for fun, here are a couple of things I do not miss.
1) Spitting-up-- Not gone, but very infrequent now.
2) Swaddling-- I liked that it helped him sleep, but I hated the process of swaddling him.
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