I'm not going to lie, I've been lonely ever since Delia died. Lea helped tremendously. But one dog can't take the place of another even when you love that dog fiercely as well. And the grief is still around, it lingers. I think it always will. The painful edge of it is gone. It doesn't cause a sharp pain all the time anymore; more of a constant dull ache. A longing, I guess. And it seemed disloyal to think of getting another dog. And when Delia first died I was absolutely convinced I would never get another companion dog. I mean, I knew we would always have a family dog, like Winston. But as far as a dog for me, a companion for me--- no, those days died with my girls.
But, I've been sad and lonely. And sometimes you just need a companion. And it took me years to feel even remotely ready. But I started missing the girls in a way that kind of shifted into wanting something that would help fill the void they left. Not replace them. Never that. Just help patch some of the wounds...stop me from this slow bleed that had never fully stopped since Delia died.
So when we were in Georgia while the boys were at camp we visited a breeder I was familiar with from when we lived there. A well established breeder exclusively of Cavalier King Charles Spaniels. She is expensive, but she breeds her dogs with care to ensure that they have healthy hearts and after Delia's heart problems, that was especially important to me. And I had specific parameters-- this time I was looking for a boy and either a tri-color or a ruby-- the two colors that were different from the girls. I felt like getting the same breed was a risk, but if I got a puppy that was just different enough that it would help with the transition.
We met two puppies that day in June, a Ruby and a tri-color. And I fell completely in love with the tri-color.
Meet Bentley! The newest edition to our family.
When we saw Bentley he was 7 weeks old and wouldn't be ready to go home for 3 more weeks. Not a long wait, but it felt pretty long :) He was just adorable and sweet and snuggly and perfect.
When we picked the boys up from camp a couple of days later we took them by to meet Bentley and they definitely approved!
Since bringing him home things have been a little crazy in our home. I got both Delia and Lea as adults so it has been awhile since I did the whole puppy thing. I am not good house-training. At all. But we are working on it. I had great plans for working really hard to train him well in general. While waiting to bring him home I watched videos and read a book and...either I am terrible at it or Bentley is adorable but not super bright. I don't know, but it isn't going super well. Luckily, small dogs can be naughty without really being all that terrible.
He is precious beyond words. He snuggles and cuddles and is soft and warm and sweet. He likes to be held and touching at all times. He sits with me on the couch, snuggled up close, with his head resting on my arm or leg while I am working or watching TV. He takes naps with me, nestled into my neck or under my chin. He follows me around the house and loves and adores both Winston and Felix. Even Daniel really seems to love him (though his indiscriminate use of the house as his potty drives him insane). He loves toys and anything he can fit in his mouth. I spend half of my days chasing him around the house pulling contraband out of his mouth. And he loves to be chased.
I am lucky to have found him. It was the right time, and he was the right puppy. He isn't Delia. And what I feel for him isn't the same as what I felt for her. But she was just different, a different dog at a different time in my life. And I love(d) her in a way that I can't describe. But having Bentley is a joy and he is slowly helping to heal my broken heart. And if I will never love him in quite the same way...I think that is ok.
He is so cute and fun!! Enjoyed having him here last week.
ReplyDelete