Dreaming Big Dreams

I'm not the most practical of people. I like to daydream. I like to make plans. I like to think about what might could be. I'm not fanciful, exactly, but I like to think big thoughts and live out ideas and dreams inside my head. Some of those dreams I know will only ever be alive in my head; and others I get completely fixated on and I think and think and think about if I could ever make those dreams a reality.

Last week I was digging around online, thinking about doing a little meal planning, and I visited a website I hadn't read in awhile. It is one I like for healthy, kid-friendly, food ideas. (www.weelicious.com). And while I was shuffling through the hundreds of pages and posts I stumbled across one that wasn't really related to food at all. In the blog post, the author talked about her recent trip to Paris and London. In the summer of 2017, she took her young (pre-teen) daughter to Paris for 10 days, just the two of them. They had such an amazing time that they did it again this summer and added in a brief stay in London too.

I cannot get this story out of my head.

This mom blogger has two other kids and a husband. But now, two years in a row, she has taken her oldest to Europe for a vacation just the two of them.

Can you imagine?

I so badly want to do this. Or some variation of this. Lately I have been feeling some anxiety about all of the things I want to do with the boys, and places I want to take them before they leave home. Like, big anxiety. I want to be the one to show them Europe. And Yellowstone. And Seattle. And Hawaii. And the Grand Canyon.

And I absolutely want to do family vacations--a lot of family vacations-- just the four of us. And maybe some with extended family too (grandparents and siblings and cousins). But how incredible would it be to get to do BIG one-on-one trips with the boys? I think the moments shared and the memories made would be some of the best of my life. How could they not?

I don't know if this will ever be a possibility. I know Daniel would never agree and see the value. Or even if these family vacations I hope to take will ever happen. But what I do know is that these years with my boys at home will be the best of my life. The most meaningful, and the most important. And these years are passing way too quickly. And there are so so many things I want to do with them, to show them, and to share with them.

And it doesn't hurt to dream, right?

The Cradle of Forestry

Summers are my favorite. Not my favorite season, not by a long shot. But they are my favorite time of year because the boys are home from school and I really love planning day trips and outings and themed days and just spending intentional time with them. This summer has been very different-- and I'm planning to devote a separate blot post to talk about that a bit later-- but one day last week we were able to get out for the day and go to the Cradle of Forestry in the Pisgah National Forest and it was a fun day out with friends and a good example of why I really love summer days.

The Cradle of Forestry is a place we first visited last summer and I immediately knew I wanted to head back again this summer. It was founded in 1916 and is described on the website as the first location of science-based forest management. It is educational and historical-- two things I love to share with the boys. There is an inside exhibit area that has a scavenger hunt that the kids enjoy, then we head outside and usually do two trails that also have accompanying scavenger hunts. On the trails we can see the original buildings that were part of the Biltmore Forest School's campus, sawmills, and an old locomotive. We always stay and eat at the cafe that uses local ingredients in their menu-- and it is very, very good. 

We went with Becky, Ande, and Graham, and we had a perfect day! 

The old schoolhouse.

Carver pretending to be the teacher.

Here is a fun side-by-side of the kids in the same spot both years we have gone. It is amazing how much they grew in just one year.

P.S. Mom-- you would love it here-- we must go the next time you come up!

Meet Bentley

Delia died six and a half years ago. Lea died three years ago. And not a day goes by that I don't think about them. And wish they were still alive. Yesterday was Delia's birthday-- she would have been 16 years old. Which is just insane to me. 

I'm not going to lie, I've been lonely ever since Delia died. Lea helped tremendously. But one dog can't take the place of another even when you love that dog fiercely as well. And the grief is still around, it lingers. I think it always will. The painful edge of it is gone. It doesn't cause a sharp pain all the time anymore; more of a constant dull ache. A longing, I guess. And it seemed disloyal to think of getting another dog. And when Delia first died I was absolutely convinced I would never get another companion dog. I mean, I knew we would always have a family dog, like Winston. But as far as a dog for me, a companion for me--- no, those days died with my girls.

But, I've been sad and lonely. And sometimes you just need a companion. And it took me years to feel even remotely ready. But I started missing the girls in a way that kind of shifted into wanting something that would help fill the void they left. Not replace them. Never that. Just help patch some of the wounds...stop me from this slow bleed that had never fully stopped since Delia died.

So when we were in Georgia while the boys were at camp we visited a breeder I was familiar with from when we lived there. A well established breeder exclusively of Cavalier King Charles Spaniels. She is expensive, but she breeds her dogs with care to ensure that they have healthy hearts and after Delia's heart problems, that was especially important to me. And I had specific parameters-- this time I was looking for a boy and either a tri-color or a ruby-- the two colors that were different from the girls. I felt like getting the same breed was a risk, but if I got a puppy that was just different enough that it would help with the transition. 

We met two puppies that day in June, a Ruby and a tri-color. And I fell completely in love with the tri-color.

Meet Bentley! The newest edition to our family.

When we saw Bentley he was 7 weeks old and wouldn't be ready to go home for 3 more weeks. Not a long wait, but it felt pretty long :) He was just adorable and sweet and snuggly and perfect.

When we picked the boys up from camp a couple of days later we took them by to meet Bentley and they definitely approved!

Since bringing him home things have been a little crazy in our home. I got both Delia and Lea as adults so it has been awhile since I did the whole puppy thing. I am not good house-training. At all. But we are working on it. I had great plans for working really hard to train him well in general. While waiting to bring him home I watched videos and read a book and...either I am terrible at it or Bentley is adorable but not super bright. I don't know, but it isn't going super well. Luckily, small dogs can be naughty without really being all that terrible. 

He is precious beyond words. He snuggles and cuddles and is soft and warm and sweet. He likes to be held and touching at all times. He sits with me on the couch, snuggled up close, with his head resting on my arm or leg while I am working or watching TV. He takes naps with me, nestled into my neck or under my chin. He follows me around the house and loves and adores both Winston and Felix. Even Daniel really seems to love him (though his indiscriminate use of the house as his potty drives him insane). He loves toys and anything he can fit in his mouth. I spend half of my days chasing him around the house pulling contraband out of his mouth. And he loves to be chased.

I am lucky to have found him. It was the right time, and he was the right puppy. He isn't Delia. And what I feel for him isn't the same as what I felt for her. But she was just different, a different dog at a different time in my life. And I love(d) her in a way that I can't describe. But having Bentley is a joy and he is slowly helping to heal my broken heart. And if I will never love him in quite the same way...I think that is ok.

Cousin Fun in Towson

June Phone Dump

Student led conference.

Heading to Field Day!

The boys missed the last 3 days of school because they had to head to Strong Rock. So, this was their last day of school.

Because Carson was missing his kindergarten graduation, I took treats to his class the last day and his sweet teacher planned a few things for him. 

His teacher, Ms. Robson, was the BEST.

The principal even came down to give him his certificate-- so so thoughtful.

Last day of school celebratory sushi dinner.

Heading out to dinner for Father's Day. We went to a great Brazilian Steakhouse downtown. And apparently I took pictures of the boys and none with Daniel...

First day of Pokemon Lego Camp. The camp was 9:00-12:00 every day for a week and they loved it.

One day after Lego camp we stayed and played for awhile at Fun Depot.

For Vacation Bible School this year I led the Crafts-- which was great because it meant I got to see both boys as they came through my room!

Both boys got to go up on stage during VBS to play a game. This was Carson and he was hilarious.

Carson helping Becky talk about Missions.

Dancing during church on Sunday.

Bowling with friends.

Carson chose to get chocolate ice cream dipped in peanut butter...

Tryon Equestrian Center-- so many fun activities for the kids (all free!) and then a night watching Gladiator Polo. We met the Suggs there and it was a really fun way to spend a Saturday night.

The sunset was incredible.