22 Months

This last month has required a little more patience than some previous months. I'm not really sure what has been going on. Either Carver is grumpy, or I am, or we just aren't quite in a smooth rhythm right now-- regardless, he has been driving me a little crazy these last weeks and I'm pretty sure I've been annoying him too.

Just over the last few days Carver has...

*been waking up before 7:00 a.m. almost every day (he usually sleeps until 8-ish)

* broken a Lenox vase and a ceramic pumpkin (two different days) while doing things he should not be doing.

* dunked his pacifier in the toilet--twice

* learned to open the oven

* learned to open the sliding glass door onto our back deck-- and managed to escape and get halfway down the not-very-sturdy steps before I caught him.

* skipped two naps (as in NO nap at all that day-- nightmare)

* peed on the floor in the 30 seconds or less it took him to walk from his bedroom to the bathtub

* screamed through Ingles, Walmart, and CVS (on different days)

So, it has been an eventful month. Hoping that month 23 goes much more smoothly. Of course, we've had a lot of good things happening too. Carver is starting to talk a little more. He has a newly found obsession with Legos and a continued obsession with all balls (any round object is a ball). He could still spend hours outside if I was willing and he adores animals. He has improved some on feeding himself (with utensils), and is getting better at not stuffing multiple bites in his mouth at once. He gets more independent every day but is still very affectionate, almost clingy, in a lot of ways.

Here are some of our month 22 happenings...

Visit with Uncle Lyle

Playing outside with Daddy

Visiting Daddy at work

Trying to retrieve the pacifiers that are (in a perfect world) resigned to the crib

Eating fruit all by himself

Fascinated by the pumpkins in the flower bed

Watching a movie with Papa

My heart hurts

As I have noted before, I am a worrier. It is something that I struggle with every single day. Some days are better than others. Becoming a mother exponentially raised the amount of fear and worry I deal with on a daily basis. It is my constant prayer that I will get through this fear that cripples me but it is something that forces me to pray unceasingly and to push myself to have faith and trust that God will protect me and mine.

It is difficult not to succomb to this worry and fear when the world is so dark. I know that it is usually the dark and sensational stories that make "the news" but it is so hard not to be just horrified by all of the things I read and see on tv.

Just this week I read or saw the following stories:

1) A child pornography ring involving over 20 women was uncovered. Videos of shackled children being raped by adults were found.

2) A woman forced her 4 year old and 10 month old to drink beer.

3) A 14 year old "mentally disabled" boy was held for the majority of 3 years in a bedroom with a soiled mattress and animal excrement; he was only fed 4 times a week.

4) A man pled guilty to beating his daughter and giving her a knife and gun and encouraging her to kill herself.

On one hand, I know these are extreme cases. But, on the other hand, I also know that this is nothing compared to the number of stories that do not make major headlines. I lay in bed at night wondering if I was wrong to bring a child into this world. I can't comprehend parents that harm their children in these appalling ways. I can't comprehend anyone hurting children in these ways.

There is just so much suffering. So many children are abused in the most horrific of ways. So many children are starving or live in a constant state of terror. I just can't imagine.

So I lay awake at night and dwell on these horrors. But, I never even try to do anything about it. Everyone can do something, even something small, yet I do nothing. I am so ashamed. And so heart-sick.

I don't know what the solution for me will be, but I can't keep being horrified without even trying to do something. What that will be, I have no idea. But I want my children to be raised to respect others, to show kindness and compassion, and to not turn away from hurting or misery, but rather try to make a difference. I want Carver to have a heart for others.

I do not feel called into ministry or missions, but I do feel convicted to do something to better the world. It might be tiny and it might go mostly unnoticed, but I'm going to try.

A Big Day

For the past month or so Carver has been having some, well...bad hair days. And when a little boy has a bad hair day there just aren't many options. For weeks (months) Daniel has been hassling me to get Carver's hair cut. But, I love his curls. And once you cut the curls off they are gone forever and all of a sudden you have this much-older looking child and it is just really sad.

Unfortunately, the hair was just getting a little too crazy and I had to give in and get his hair cut. Because it was a momentous occasion we tried to make a fun day out of it. Daniel took a morning off (already momentous), we headed out bright and early for breakfast at Stoney's, then down to Buford for Carver's hair cut at "Whata Cutie Cuts." I know, it's a silly name. But, it is a super kid friendly salon with a large play area filled with toys and these really cute airplanes and fire trucks, etc. for the kids to sit in while getting their hair cut.

Carver was definitely not a fan of the whole experience. He wasn't screaming or crying but he was pushing the stylist away, pulling off his cape, etc. The ladies who worked there were great-- handing out snacks, blowing bubbles, letting Carver hold 12 combs...

Yikes! Crazy hair after bath the night before the big day.

Heading in to the salon.

Playing while we wait.

Getting ready...

Over it...

No, his hair is not normally spiked like this.

Overall, I think he did great and the new look is super cute. I still mourn the loss of his curls, but it's hard to avoid the inevitable.

Burt's Pumpkin Farm

One of the few reasons I love living outside of Florida is getting to really enjoy the changing of the seasons. Fall is my absolute favorite, with Spring coming in a close second. I love the relief of cooler temperatures after the blazing hot summer months, I love watching the leaves slowly change until there is a sudden burst and the whole world is painted in the most fabulous of colors, I love the crisp quality to the air-- I am convinced that the world looks more in focus, less hazy, in the Fall, I love Carver getting an entire new wardrobe at the beginning of each new season, I love chili in the crock pot and pumpkin muffins, and Fall decorations.

Hooray for Fall!!

A couple of weeks ago we were having incredible Fall days-- cool and sunny and perfect-- so mom and I decided to take Carver to Burt's Pumpkin Farm in Dawsonville.

We had the best day. Carver was great and had a good time. We wandered through rows and rows of pumpkins of every shape, color, and size, then we went on a short hay ride that Carver loved, and finished the day with lunch at the Porter House in Dahlonega.

All in all it was the perfect way to welcome the Fall.

Carver's favorite thing at the pumpkin farm.

Porter House, Dahlonega GA---we liked it a lot.

21 Months

Technically Carver turned 21 months on September 21st, so we are backtracking a little (as usual). Carver's 21st month was a busy one for us, as previously noted we took a family vacation to the beach and then spent a few days in Bartow. Grandmama was also here in Georgia with us for a bit so that was really fun for Carver.

Carver's very favorite activity is playing outside. He would play out there all day if I was willing. We color with sidewalk chalk, go for walks, harass our neighbor's sweet cat, check the mail, pick flowers, run barefoot in the grass (well, Carver does, not me) and find things to collect (rocks, sticks, mulch, etc). We also frequently go to the park-- which is another favorite thing.

Carver's new BFF, Lucy.

Likes: pancakes, crackers, self-feeding with utensils, baths, Mickey Mouse Clubhouse, wrestling with Daddy, climbing, Winston, pacifiers (no, I am not proud of this), balls-- any size, climbing into his toy bucket, pressing down the "buttons" on the top of plastic lids (like on a fast food drink-- thanks Grandmama for teaching that trick, he is now obsessed) and trying to destroy the computer printer.

Sitting in his toy bucket, reading a book. The problem is, he can't get out on his own.

Dislikes: riding in shopping carts, shopping, highchairs, having his teeth brushed, or his hair brushed. Lately he has also been a lot pickier with food-- which is extremely frustrating. I'm hoping it is just a phase.

My favorites: Carver loves to laugh and does so with complete abandon, I could listen to that all day; he is also super affectionate right now-- which I love; listening to him "talk."

My least favorites: Carver goes completely limp and falls on the ground when he doesn't want to do something-- all kinds of irritating; he loves throwing things-- usually at me-- forks, cups, toys, etc.

Verbally Carver is about the same as last month. He is saying certain words with more regularity, but he is not overly talkative yet-- at least not in identifiable words. I have no doubt that he knows exactly what he is saying. He understands probably 90% of what we say to him.

I would say we have had another really good, and pretty easy, month. Daniel has been around a little more and my mom has visited several times which is always helpful. Carver's Nana and Papa will be here this week so I am sure Carver will love that :)

The countdown to Carver's 2nd birthday has really begun. Time to start birthday party planning...