Dear Carson: On Your Sixth Birthday

Dear Carson,

Tomorrow you turn SIX!

And you are over-the-top, oh so crazy, exuberantly excited about your birthday.

And that is one of the things I love best about you-- your exuberance for everything. You love life-- people and experiences, and pretty much everything that comes your way. In a world that is often filled with so much that is dark and hard you are always a breath of fresh air to me. You have joy in abundance, and one day I hope you realize what a gift that is.

You have had the most amazing kindergarten year! You have grown up so much this year and that hasn't always been easy for me-- it can be hard for mamas to watch their youngest baby change so much so fast-- but I am fiercely proud of you and all you have accomplished this year. You were excited to go to school every single day; and excited to come home and tell me all about it. You have a few favorites, but you really seem to consider all of your classmates your friends-- I love this. You love to learn and you really like to read to anyone who will listen-- and show us all of the other things you have learned. You absorb everything you learn at school and we hear about it at all kinds of times throughout our days-- about recycling, about your sight words, about counting by 5s and 10s, and so many other things. Your first year of public school was an overwhelming success.

You have a very sweet and cheerful personality, most of the time. You talk a lot. Sometimes we call Grandmama so she can talk to you so my mind can have a rest :) Sometimes you follow me around the house and talk me straight into exhaustion-- and I love it-- but your Grandmama likes to have a turn to talk to you too :) Probably five times a day or more you say, "Mama, do you want to know something?"--and then you are off into a pretty lengthy story. And, I need you to know that I will always, always want to know anything you want to tell me. Always. You can tell me anything and I promise I will listen and I will hear you. I will talk through things or I will be a quiet place for you to release and unload to. I will be your secret keeper or I will be the one who storms doors and fights battles for you. Whatever you need, to the best of my ability, I will do for you. Always.

You love me in the sweetest way. It feeds my soul and soothes me and heals me and gives me strength when days seem so hard sometimes. My days are filled with kisses and hugs, "I love yous" and "You're the best mom ever"-- and those are the best parts of my day. You have a gift for encouragement, and not just for me-- you naturally encourage and uplift others. You are genuinely proud of others when they succeed, and sad when they fail or are hurting. Empathy comes so naturally to you, and I pray it always does.

This year the word I have chosen to pray over you is self-control. Lately you have had a crazy fiery temper starting to come out, and I'll be honest, it worries me. We have already had a number of talks about learning to control that temper instead of letting it control you-- but we still have a long way to go. Choices have consequences and our responses and reactions to things have consequences. It is so important to be able to stay calm and stay in control in order to make good choices. This is my prayer for you this year.

You have also started asking really good questions about God, and Jesus, and the Bible. You are learning and growing and getting so close to a personal relationship with Jesus, I feel so sure. I can't wait to watch as your own salvation story and walk with Jesus unfolds. Keep learning and listening and loving Him.

Carson, you are funny and smart and kind and exuberant. We are all so lucky to have you in our family. I am so proud to be your mom.

I love you Cargy. More than words can describe.

Love,
Mama

Dear Carver: On Your 8th Birthday

Dear Carver,

     Yesterday you turned eight years old and it seems impossible to me that you are not a baby anymore. Every year I feel just a bit sad that you are a year older; one step closer to growing up and having your own independent life. But I am also so curious about who you will be when you are an adult; what career you will choose, what friends you will make, who you will marry and if you will have children one day. That is why raising children can be so bittersweet. It is hard on any mama's heart to watch the baby years pass way too quickly, but each year brings so much newness that it is hard not to view these growing up years with a good bit of excitement too.

     We are so close, the two of us. I sort of think it is because our personalities have some similarities. You need downtime to introvert sometimes, but you also have several friends that you love to spend time with. You enjoy outings to do fun things...but what you love most is staying at home. You are also super moody and unpredictable. Sadly, that kind of comes from me too.

     Second grade has been a pretty positive experience so far. You like your teacher and have some friends in your class. You still do not love going to school every day, but it is not a day to day struggle like it was last year. You spent most of last summer begging me to homeschool you. And it was tempting...but I think it would have ended up being a negative experience for both of us. I am thrilled that you are liking school a bit better this year.

     Your interest in Minecraft has become a little out of control lately. I am not a fan of Minecraft...especially the awful YouTube videos you watch, and this causes some conflict between us. I'm not surprised that you love the game-- it fits in well with your creative side. But I miss the days when you would draw enough pictures for me to paper my walls with, and created all kinds of things out of a variety of materials. I'll be honest, this Minecraft fixation is something I will not miss once you move onto something else :)

     This year I am praying for you to be more empathetic. This isn't new, it has been my prayer for you for quite awhile. I think some people are just naturally empathetic. They can intuitively feel what others feel, they feel sad when someone else is sad, or regretful with they hurt someone's feelings. And for other people empathy has to be fostered in them. So I am working on that diligently with you. Carver, I want so badly for you to understand why it is important to be able to understand how people feel-- especially how your own actions can make others feel. I want you to be thoughtful and kind (and you definitely are sometimes!). I want you to see someone who is hurting and want to help them. I want you to see someone who needs help and want to be the one to help them. I want you to have a heart for people and to make a difference in the world. And I have faith that you will.

     My biggest prayer will always be that you love Jesus. Nothing in the world matters more than this.

     Carver, I am your biggest fan, and I always will be. I will love you fiercely and will always be your safe place. Always. I will do whatever I can to help you grow and learn and tackle life. I am so thankful for you and lucky, oh so lucky, that God gave you to me eight years ago.

     Every single day you tell me that you love me, at least a dozen times :) You hug me and kiss me and ask me to pick you up and hold you (which is getting harder every year!). You really love one-on-one time, and sushi dates are usually our thing.  Sometimes we stay up a little late talking and that is really when I feel like I learn the most about you. Sometimes you ask really interesting (and often odd) questions, sometimes you tell me things you are worried about, and sometimes we talk about the past-- you especially love to hear stories about when you were a baby, before Carson was born. You might secretly wish you were an only child, but I promise, one day soon you will be so very thankful that you have a brother. I wish you could have had even more siblings, but I am praying for a very strong bond between the two of you. Family is so important Carver.

     Happy 8th Birthday! I love you more than you will ever know.


Love,
Mama

Aruba!

The week we spent in Aruba will probably be always at the top of my list of favorite weeks of my entire life. Courtney has always been one of my very favorite traveling partners, and Julia has become one as well. We travel so well together (except that they like to put on pjs and climb into bed at about 9:00 p.m. and I can't sleep until about midnight). We laugh and talk a lot, but we're also perfectly content to not talk. #introvertsunite

When we went to Rome two years ago I met them in Washington D.C. for our connecting flight to Rome. My flight was late, they had to try to hold the plane full of people, I had to run the length of about 12 football fields to get from one end of that airport to another to get to our gate.
It. Was. Awful. So this time I headed to Baltimore the night before and we got up well before dawn to head to the airport together.

The flight to Aruba was fairly uneventful, as flights should be. I get antsy on flights though-- which makes it difficult to travel sometimes. I don't like the tight spaces, or sitting for so long without moving, I can't get comfortable and I fidget a lot...which no doubt annoys my seat mates.

But we made it to Aruba! We waited in the long line to get through customs and then found our shuttle to take us to our resort. Aruba is different than other islands I have visited-- it is dry and arid, with cacti! We decided to stay at an all-inclusive resort and it really was the perfect location for us.

Our room was perfectly nice, the pool was incredible, and the food was delicious, and the ocean was the most amazing turquoise.

It was a great week of eating and relaxing and then eating some more.

On our first short flight we sat together. On our second longer flight  we had to sit separately.

Customs line in Aruba.

Our room (every room) had a "liquor dispenser." We don't drink bottles of liquor of course. And, seriously, who on earth needs four full bottles of liquor in their room??

The room.

The view from our room.

Our first night we changed out of our travel clothes and ate dinner at the steakhouse. It was SO good. The seating was outside and it was a beautiful night. My phone was dead from traveling so, sadly, no pictures from that night.

Heading down to breakfast.

Enormous breakfast buffet! So so much food.

The pool. 

Lizards were all over the grassy area by the pool.  They provided me with constant entertainment.

I basically stalked them. Even though the bigger ones kind of scared me. 

This might have been my favorite part of the resort. There was a lounge open 24 hours a day with drinks, coffees,  and snacks (like nachos!). 

Heading to dinner, 

Our second night we ate at the Italian restaurant. It was probably our least favorite of the 4 dinners we had--- but the  antipasti/salad bar was great.

Look at how gorgeous this lettuce was! All of the produce was oh so good.

Dessert!

The beach!

Our resort.

Breakfast day two. Note the spaghetti :) I do love non-traditional breakfast foods.

Me and Jules. We swam out to this dock. The weather was clear and the most amazing turquoise color. And we saw some colorful fish swimming around the dock.

We always eat at Hard Rock Cafe when we travel. It's our thing. So we headed  down the road just a bit to find the restaurant. The place was empty, the service was appalling, but the food was good. So not a total loss.

Dinner at the French restaurant. Later that night we went to a Carnival show :)

Sitr Fry Bar at lunch!

Lunch buffet. It was insane and huge too.

Heading to dinner on our last night.

We ate at the restaurant with local Aruban food. It was surprisingly delicious.

Morning walk on the beach before heading to the airport.

Dinner at a Ramen Bar at the airport!

We got in super late on Wednesday night and my flight didn't leave until Friday afternoon. It was fun getting to spend a bit of time in Baltimore. And I always love snuggles with Alex :)

I often struggle with returning to places I have already visited. It seems like if I have the chance to travel I should go to a new place. But I really hope to go back one day.