Dear Carson: On Your Third Birthday

Dear Carson,

Tomorrow you are THREE! It is a big birthday because this is the first one that you have actively anticipated. You are SO excited about your birthday. You have been talking about it a lot and for weeks you've been announcing that "tomorrow" is your birthday. And now we are finally at the day before your birthday.

I've been struggling with the idea of you turning 3. You are my baby. And this last year has been such an obvious shift from you as a baby, to you as an independent boy. You have been talking for so long that now we have full conversations. You understand so much and you ask many many questions and you are hilarious. I have so many favorite funny things you have said. The things you say, and often the attitude with which you say things, are usually the highlight of my days. It is hard to be overly stressed, or tired, or overwhelmed, or frustrated when all you have to say is a simple phrase and I can't help but smile, or often, laugh out loud.

You bring me such incredible joy. This last year that is the word I chose to pray over you-- Joy. I wanted you to know real joy, true joy. I wanted you to have so much joy that it bled out of you and into others. You are happy and cheerful and exuberant. You play hard and love deeply.

The first year of your life I held you almost constantly. The second year was not much different, you still wanted to be held often, but even if you were not being held you were always so close by. Even once you could crawl you never moved far from me. This last year you have become MUCH more independent. You tell me you want to do things all by yourself. You push limits and test boundaries.

And you are so feisty. You can be so loud when you are mad. And defiant when you don't get your way. You have such a temper. And you can be a bit...violent...when provoked. Carver is usually the one to push you to violence-- but last week on the way home from school you were mad at me and you told me that you were going to hit me when we got home. We had to have a lengthy discussion about that (you DO NOT HIT YOUR MOTHER!).

But, you kiss me more than a dozen times a day. You still love to be held as much as possible. You like to be carried, or sit in my lap, or at least hold my hand. You tell me you love me (or like me) numerous times throughout the day. You are incredibly affectionate, always.

This year the word I am praying over you is goodness. I want you to choose virtue and "moral excellence" as the dictionary defines goodness. This is so very hard, Carson. The world is a hard place, and sometimes, often even, it is so hard to choose what is good and virtuous. The world does not expect goodness in people-- it has become so undervalued. You have to really try to be good. You have to make a choice, every day, to do what is right. You'll make mistakes, everyone does, and that is ok. It is my prayer that you learn from those mistakes and then choose to seek goodness again.

And there will be no way to be truly good or righteous while here on earth. But it is important to keep trying, to persevere, to choose virtue. Keep learning about Jesus. My greatest prayer will always be that you love Jesus. That you learn that He is the purpose, that only He can make sense of this world. You have the perfect example of goodness in Him. There will be so many things and people that can steer you away from striving for goodness because that path, the virtuous one, is so very hard. But you are strong Carson. You are confident and outgoing and kind and GOOD. I pray that in encouraging you to seek goodness that I will also be able to model that for you in my own life as well.

You matter to me more than I can possibly describe. You bring such joy to our family, so much laughter, so many sweet moments. Such love, incredible, consuming, heart-bursting love. I'm so lucky, so very lucky, that you are  mine. I hope that you feel lucky too.

Your daddy and I love you so much. We will keep trying every single day to raise you to love Jesus. To be honorable, and kind, and generous, and joyful, and GOOD. We will stumble and we will fail you, but we will just try harder again the next day. I can't promise a perfect childhood, or a perfect mother, or a perfect life. But I can promise you that you will never question the love I have for you. I promise I will pray for you daily. I promise I will always forgive. I promise I will always hug and kiss and  hold you, for as long as you will let me. I promise that I will always try to be better, for you and your brother.

You have such great worth, Carson. You are loved by so very many people. Happy 3rd birthday sweet boy. I can't wait to see what this year holds.

Strive for goodness. Keep trying even after you fail. Look up. Try harder. Seek Jesus.

Love,
Mama

Christmas Part III-- Amherst, Virginia

Full family visits with my parents, siblings, and all the kiddos are so wild and crazy. And one of my very favorite things :) This year, the boys and I stayed with my parents at the inn at Sweetbriar College. Carver loves hotels. Loves them.

We hung out for a bit while Will had baseball practice. The cousins played outside because Uncle Lyle gets a bit frustrated if he thinks the kiddos are being a distraction. SO we herded them out for some time in the sun.

One night we went tubing! It was the perfect activity. It was cold and dark and the kids had an absolute blast. I thought I was going to have a heart attack dragging the tubes back up the hill the bajillion times they rode down. Literally, I feared for my life.

This is one of those pictures where every time I see it I think, "oh! It could have been so cute." I just want to pull his jacket away from his face.  

Trying to get a picture of all 9 cousins is really, really, hard. But I love this one anyway. The imperfections make it perfect.

Christmas is one of my favorite times of the year. I love all of the festivities leading up to Christmas Day. I love crafts and planning gifts. I love reading Christmas books and talking about Jesus' birth. I love seeing the boys be excited. And the best part is always my family. I love being with my family.

Christmas Part II-- Christmas in Winston Salem

We headed to Winston to have Christmas with Daniel's parents!

Carson slept on the way. With his favorite book-- potty songs with Elmo. Yeah. 

Decorating a gingerbread house with Nana.

Christmas in Winston Salem was a bit sad this year. I always like getting to see Daniel's extended family when we spend Christmas there every other year. On Christmas Eve, Daniel's Dad's side of the family comes over and we have dinner and spend time together. This year was bittersweet because it was the last time we saw Daniel's Uncle Richard, who died a couple of months later. He was always sweet to us and our boys. I can't imagine what our Christmas Eves will look like in the upcoming years without him there.

On Christmas Day, Daniel's Mom's family comes over for lunch and this is one of my favorite things about Christmas in Winston. Daniel has a lot of aunts, uncles, and cousins and it is so fun to get to catch up with them every couple of years.

After Christmas in Winston, the boys and I packed up to head to Virginia for Christmas with my side of the family.

Christmas Part I

Presents from Grandmama and Granddaddy!

The boys are fun because they are so easy to please. They are grateful for everything they get and they LOVE every single new toy. My parents sent gifts up to us in Asheville, then we headed to Winston-Salem for Christmas with Daniel's family before the boys and I headed on to Virginia for some time with my whole family.

Carver's 5th Birthday

We love birthdays around here. Birthdays should be fun and special and important. So, we celebrate!

We started with cupcakes at Carver's school. Dinosaurs, of course.

And, on December 21st....

A room full of balloons to wake up to. One perk of the boys sharing a room  means that they both get to wake up to the fun.

Birthday breakfast.

Ready for presents!

The first "big" gift-- a trip with just mama and daddy to the Great Wolf Lodge.

And a new bike! Carson was pretty fascinated by it too.

And the hilarious Angry Bird helmet completes the look. (Thanks Grandmama and Granddaddy for the helmet!)

And we like to spread out the celebrations so, more to come!

A Very Special Date

In the weeks leading up to Carver's fifth birthday we were trying to make some plans to celebrate. We decided not to have a big party with friends-- we hadn't been back in the area quite long enough for that. So, we made plans to take Carver to the Great Wolf Lodge in February (more about that later).

But, I wanted to do something special with Carver-- just the two of us.

You see, I've missed him this year. I get individual time with Carson while Carver is at school, but it doesn't happen often with Carver. He goes to school five mornings a week and soon he'll be gone for even longer hours every single day. And I just really miss the days when we spent all day, every day, together.

So, I planned a date night with my sweet boy. I looked forward to it for weeks. And I was SO excited when the big day finally arrived. I knew we would have so much fun.

But, I didn't know that it would be one of my top favorite nights of my entire life.

We headed to dinner at Pack's Tavern. We sat it a high-top table because Carver has a weird love of tall tables and bar stools. Carver chatted with our server the entire time. We played games while we waited for our food. And Carver got to have his very own Dr. Pepper.

After dinner we headed to the Asheville Community Theater to see A Charlie Brown Christmas. Carver was so excited. We skipped from the parking lot to the front door of the theater. Yes, skipped. Because he thought it was SO FUN and I assumed I probably wouldn't run into anyone I knew :) Carver hugged the greeter at the door. We bought snacks, took a bathroom break, and headed in to find our seats.

The actual show was...mediocre. It was sort of weird to watch that particular show with the entire cast made up of adults. It was also really short-- about 30 minutes long, and that was including the "sing-a-long" with Santa at the end. But, the length was perfect for Carver's attention span.

We headed out of the theater and got to meet the cast and see Santa. Carver hugged everyone he spoke to and stopped for some pictures, then we headed back to the car...skipping the whole way.

It was a perfect night. Not for any single reason, but because every single moment was exactly right. This child of mine is so incredibly precious. So loved. I will always be thankful for that night and this boy.

Carson had to be in some pictures too.

Oh that face. I have no idea. Currently that is the face he makes when I ask him to take a picture.

Hugging Charlie Brown.

Santa!