Carson- 8 Months

The baby boy is getting so big! He is just seeming so much older these days. More independent, more personality--it's crazy. He is not exactly an easy baby anymore. Sadly, those days are gone. He is still super affectionate. The downside is that he prefers to be held all of the time. He has never slept through the night-- or slept an entire night in his own bed. He REFUSES to take a bottle. He shows very little interest in his baby food. He hates riding in the car.

But, he loves to cuddle. He smiles all the time. And has a sweet belly laugh. He is very inquisitive and wants to see everything, grab everything. He loves his big brother and the dogs. He is tough-- he barely cries when he gets bumps or bruises. He does the "army" crawl super fast and can move all over the house. He is pulling up now and seems very proud of this new skill. He says, "Dada" and refuses to say Mama. He sneaks glances at the T.V. when I am not paying attention and adores his pacifier.

We've spent the last month working on transitioning him out of his pack 'n play and into his crib in his bedroom upstairs. This means that I am sleeping in the guest room upstairs and watching the video monitor constantly. It has been an exhausting month. We've had a couple of good nights and a lot of tough ones... One day I know he will sleep through his night and we will get back to a little bit of normalcy. Just not sure when that will be.

So even though he isn't incredibly easy, he is incredibly sweet.

He gets onto his hands and knees all the time-- then drops back to his belly to crawl.

Working on drinking out of a sippy cup.

Carver likes to take Carson his toys...

Pulling up!

Oh sweet boy.

Lea's tag is endlessly fascinating for him.

He doesn't sit on his own quite yet, though he loves to "sit" on his knees like this.

He chews on everything.

He LOVES playing with toys-- especially in the play room upstairs.



First night in his crib.



Christmas in Winston

On the day we left to spend Christmas in Winston Salem, we had a little celebrating to do before we could get on the road.

It was Carver's 3rd Birthday!

For the second year in a row he woke up to a room full of balloons :)

Since I was doing a little traveling after Christmas without Daniel, we had to drive separately to Winston. Carson rode with Daniel (he prefers the big truck), and Carver rode with me so he could watch DVDs in the car. Both boys did really well for the drive.

This year we were able to be at Daniel's parent's house for about 4 days-- longer than usual. When we got in on Friday we headed out to dinner and then back home for birthday cake and presents.

On Saturday, Daniel went hunting with the men in the family and Nana and I took the boys to the Children's museum in Winston. Carver loved it.

Carver also did a little baking with Nana.

And the boys played with Carver's birthday toys.

On Sunday we went to church and relaxed at the house.

On Monday, Christmas Eve, Daniel and I ran some errands in the morning included some last minute shopping, a stop at Krispy Kreme (which apparently has its origins in Winston Salem), and lunch from Bruegger's.

That night we spent time with Daniel's Dad's side of the family. Dinner and a gift exchange. We don't see this side of the family often, so it was nice to get to reconnect with them.

Christmas pajamas on Christmas Eve of course.

Christmas morning was especially fun this year because Carver seemed extra excited. He understands the whole unwrapping presents thing a lot better now and gets really enthusiastic about it all. He pretty much helped everyone unwrap presents.

Then Daniel's mother's side of the family came over for lunch. We LOVE seeing all of these aunts, uncles, and cousins.  The boys were both exhausted (and grumpy) so they spent the afternoon sleeping. Which was actually kind of nice for us-- we were able to just enjoy the company and not be quite so involved with the boys.

I think I especially enjoyed Christmas this year. We were in Winston for a little longer than average so our time felt more relaxed and less rushed and scheduled. Carver really enjoyed celebrating his birthday and Christmas and seemed to understand so much more this year. We were able to see much of the extended family and it was such a blessing to watch them love on our boys.

We left early Wednesday morning to head up to Baltimore. This time a long travel day. Never good with these kids... especially the wee one.

Carson- 7 Months

Time is flying with this little one. Already I can see the subtle changes that mean he is moving from infant to older baby. He can't sit still he is constantly in motion. He doesn't fall asleep after every time he eats anymore and he sleeps a lot less during the day in general. Even his cry sounds less like a newborn.

Though it does hurt my heart a little for him to grow  and change so quickly, it is really fun to watch these changes and to wonder what will come next. We are already on the downward slide to his first birthday and I already have party themes rolling around in my head. Since freezing time just isn't an option I am trying really hard to love each new phase and embrace every moment.

Stats:
Weight: Appr. 18 1/2 lbs
Height: No idea
Diapers: Size 3
Clothes: 6/9 Month or 9 Month (and some 6-12 month for those annoying stores that make that leap in sizing).

1) Most frustrating thing? Carson hates the car. Despises it. This makes traveling incredibly stressful.

2) He smiles and laughs all the time. Over absolutely nothing. If you even glance at him he will smile.

3) Still no bottles.

4) Food: Carson is getting better and better about eating "real" food. He still eats fairly small amounts, but he does not fight it very much. He usually eats food twice a day-- mid morning and then again in the evening.

5) Sleeping-- Poor! He is up 2-3 times every night. He takes a short morning nap and usually a longer afternoon nap, but only if I lay down with him.

6) LOVES pacifiers.

7) He has his first tooth! And he was absolutely miserable for the couple of days leading up to its arrival. This is not a good sign-- there are a lot more teeth to come.

8) He is very interested in toys. He has to have something in his hands and in his mouth at all times. He will chase down any toy he wants...

9) Crawling-- not quite. He can get around rather well and is pretty quick but he is still keeping his stomach on the floor rather than lifting up onto all fours. He does get on his hands and knees and rock in place, so I think that correct crawling will happen soon.

10) He is not sitting up quite yet either. If I put him in a sitting position  he can easily hold it for a bit, but he never gets into a sitting position on his own.

Carson prefers to be held over anything else. He loves to snuggle and cuddle. He is very ticklish and smiles for no reason at all. He has started reaching for us when we pick him up which is super fun. He thinks Daniel's beard is SO funny. He is very vocal and "talks" all the time. He consistently pulls off his left sock, though rarely his right one. He has managed to give me two nose bleeds in the last few weeks from hitting me in the face with his head-- luckily it doesn't seem to hurt him at all. This boy just cannot sit still.

He is always in a good mood unless he is being ignored.

But, who likes to be ignored?

Carver-- 3 Years Old

Carver turned 3 on December 21st and I am convinced that just in these last couple of weeks he has changed. He's talking now-- a lot-- and I think that this is why he just seems so much older to me. He looks older too-- less baby and more little boy-- but still 100% adorable.

This last year was a little tougher than the first two. Carver had some trouble adjusting to Carson's arrival. He did a lot of acting out-- tantrums, throwing things, even kicking and hitting. Oh so fun. But these last few months, probably since about September he has been changing so drastically and so quickly. He is sweet to Carson, taking him toys, trying to hold his hand in the car, bringing him pacifiers, and saying, "It's ok, Cargy," when he is crying or upset. SO SWEET to watch.

He is a little better about following instructions, picking up toys, listening, etc., and we really attribute this to what he has learned at school (and at home), but really, school has been super great for him. We couldn't be more pleased.

Carver talks constantly now. We aren't quite having conversations yet, though I think that is close. He makes a lot of statements, can answer some questions, and repeats everything he hears. He has a great memory and is already a good problem-solver. He is incredibly active and energetic, so I see a lot of sports and other organized activities in his future. He can entertain himself, but vastly prefers for us to play with him.

Carver goes through extreme phases of picky eating. He will go for weeks at a time barely eating enough to stay alive. I've become a little slack about really watching what he eats so I am trying to rectify that now. His current favorites: anything sweet (of course), peanut butter, buddy fruit, yogurt smoothies.

His main interests right now are trains, puzzles, and books. And he still likes just about anything with wheels. He loves to go to children's museums (which we do a lot). And he especially loves playing with other kids his age-- or older. Every child he meets is immediately his best friend and he just assumes that all children love him just as much. My heart dreads the day that he realizes this is not always true.

I am hanging my head in shame, but I must admit-- he is still addicted to his pacifiers. We limit them to private use, mostly so that we are not judged. We're trying to make a real effort to get rid of them this month.

Absolutely no interest in potty training. Not sure what to do there. I need a game plan, but I don't have one yet.

He loves playing with costumes-- thanks to Aunt Holly and Uncle Lyle for his Woody constume :) And he would ride anywhere in his Daddy's truck.

He despises having his teeth brushed and I am too afraid to attempt a dentist visit.

He LOVES to sing. He sings along during our singing time at naps and nighttime, he sings along with the TV, and he really loves to sing, "Deep and Wide."

He is obsessed with our iPhones and iPad... and stealing my drinks (usually Starbucks or Diet Dr. Pepper).

He still wakes up really early (like 4:30 or 5:00 a.m.) though a few times recently he has slept a little later. It is too soon to be very hopeful but it would be fabulous if we could start our day at 7:00 instead of 5:00. He naps from about 1:30-4:30 most days. He goes to bed at 8:00 or so.

Carver is incredibly sweet. He loves to be held, he loves to cuddle, and be carried. He likes to lay in bed with us and he loves to read books. He hugs all the time and presses his head up to my lips so I will kiss him. Everytime he gets hurt, no matter how minor, he runs to find me to kiss it. He has an infectious belly laugh and he still hums when he eats something he particularly loves.

He challenges me and surprises me every single day. He is overwhelming, frustrating, and exhausting but the biggest blessing in my life. He makes me laugh and some days we both sit on the floor and cry.

Each day is an adventure with this one. I wonder what is next?

12 Months

There is nothing to say now that hasn't already been said before. I miss this girl. A full year later and I still feel consumed by this grief and loss. Often I can't sleep. Sometimes I feel like I can't even breathe.

She mattered a great deal and she is sorely missed.

"She is your friend, your partner, your defender, your dog. You are her life, her love, her leader. She will be yours, faithful and true, to the last beat of her heart. You owe it to her to be worthy of such devotion."

    - Unknown