12 Months

Today is the big day-- baby Carver turned 1! Crazy to think of where I was 365 days ago on this night. Right now it is 9:40 p.m. and Carver would have been a little over 2 hours old. I was just coming out of recovery from the c-section and have basically no memories of that night. That is probably for the best.... I've made up for it by having thousands of memories of the last 12 months-- both big and small, but all significant in their own way. I cherish every single day I wake up to this sweet boy.


On to 12 month stats:

Not too much is "new" this month. Probably because I was a couple of weeks late posting the 11 Month update. But, here is what is going on these days.

1) Weight: ~23 lbs. (he wouldn't sit still on the scale)
Height: 29 inches
Clothing size: 12 months
Diapers: size 3

2) No new teeth-- still 4 on the top and 3 on the bottom.

3) Words: Mama, Dada, hey, and some variation of "Delia," which is how he refers to all three dogs.


4) Favorites: pacifiers (particularly MAM and Avent); DVDs (which he unloads from our shelf); "helping" me do laundry (i.e. stand in front of the washer and dryer and pull out whatever I have just put in); Dancing!-- he does it every time he hears music.

5) Still not eating any food with texture. Occasionally he will eat a few puffs but it is rare. His doctor is giving us three months before he refers us to a "therapist." Yikes!

6) He still goes crazy every time I change his diaper. You would think he would be used to it by now.

7) No stranger anxiety-- for the most part he likes everyone. But he does have some separation anxiety-- he'll cry if Daniel or I leave the room (not always but often) and he really hates it if you walk into a room and close the door with him on the other side.

8) Walking is coming along. Just in the last day or two he has really started trying harder and walking further. I'd say in the next few weeks he will really start to "get" it.

9) Lots of curly blond hairs-- it's getting a little long in the back...waiting for the top and front to catch up.

10) Visitors: Aunt Jenny came to visit for about 5 days. I loved it! She changed diapers, made bottles, put him in and out of his car seat, soothed during bad nap days, etc. Carver was sad to see her go-- when she said goodbye he reached for her and then laid his head on her shoulder. Sweet.

11) Carver is learning what "no" means but he doesn't like it. He's a little sensitive and will cry if you firmly tell him no. Then he will usually proceed to do it anyway.

12) He's stubborn! We can tell he is starting to understand the things he is not allowed to do-- but he'll do it over and over and over....

13) He can entertain himself in baby jail for short spells.

14) He still naps twice a day but I can tell he is starting to try to drop one. It depends on the day which one he tries to skip... I'm prolonging this as long as possible.

15) He LOVES going for walks, even in the cold.

16) He rarely wears bibs anymore. (Though, yes, he does have one on above). Partially because he really doesn't spit-up much anymore, but primarily because he takes them off immediately.

We are on our way out of town to visit family for Christmas AND to celebrate (2 times!) Carver's big birthday. Stay tuned after the holidays for some (hopefully) really fun bday pictures.

On your first birthday....

Dear Carver,

In just a few short hours you will officially be 1 year old. I have to admit, today has not been easy for me. Don't misunderstand, I am so excited to celebrate this milestone with you. These last 12 months have been the best (and hardest) of my life. When you came into my world everything else seemed to fall into clear perspective. Somehow the little things just aren't such a big deal. At the end of the day, as long as I know that you are happy and healthy and whole, then that is all I really need. I guess in ways you have both simplified and complicated my life :)

Bringing you into the world one year ago was the most defining moment of my life. You, sweet boy, gave me a clear and direct purpose. You see, I had always just kind of wondered what I wanted to do. What I really wanted out of life, what direction I wanted to take-- that sort of thing. But, then you arrived and I found exactly my purpose in life-- to be your mom. Now, I do hope to do even more things with my career and scholarly pursuits, as I like to think of them. Because I want you to be proud that I am your mom-- to eventually respect my career and my work. But, for right now, there is no place in the world I would rather be than right with you, every single day.

There are two truths that I am going to do everything in my power to teach you. Even if I fail at other things, I promise I won't fail in this.

First, you must know that the only thing that really matters in this life is that you love Jesus; that you know him personally, and that you choose to live for him. Your daddy and I can't make this decision for you but we will be the very best role models we can be for you, and above all else we will pray for you constantly.

Second, you must know that your Daddy and I love you unconditionally. There is nothing in the world that could ever change that. Nothing. We will never have a more important job than raising you. We will make mistakes-- probably a lot-- but we will always be your safety net, your safe place to fall. We will love you, encourage you, and believe in you. But, we will also discipline you and be firm with you when the occasion warrants. In 12 years or so I hope you will believe me when I tell you I do this because I love you, and I want you to grow into the most responsible, kind, and decent man you possibly can.

Even though I am mourning the end of this first year I am already anxiously awaiting what we will get to experience next with you. What memories we will make! I can't wait. I wish I was a perfect mommy for you. I so desperately want to do this job well. But, alas, I am not perfect--try as I might. I know that sometimes I am impatient with you, and I've even been known to tell you that you are driving me crazy, and I hate to tell you-- but in the coming years I will make many many more mistakes. Though I promise you will never feel unloved, and I will always tell you I am sorry when I am wrong. You and I are a team-- and we're figuring out this whole parenting thing together. So far, I'd say we are doing pretty well.

You, sweet boy, are my favorite thing in the world. My very favorite thing.

Happy Birthday.

Love,
Mama

Six Days

There are only six tiny little days until my sweet boy turns 1 year old.

I.Can't.Believe.It.

I can say with all honesty that I have loved every one of Carver's phases, as documented here in his month-by-month status updates. There are a few things, however, that I will sorely miss. These things I have imprinted on my mind and recorded in my soul. So many moments will be forgotten over the passage of time--but, these things-- I will remember every tiny detail.

1) The overwhelming emotion captured in that one day when your first child is born. Fear, excitement, worry, exhilaration, love, awe...the lists goes on.

2) This face:

They change so quickly. It was a matter of days before he no longer looked just like this. But, this is how he looked, that first time I saw my son-- I'll never forget the details of his precious face on that night.

3) Exhaustion. Sheer, utter, mind-numbing exhaustion. Followed by several weeks of extreme illness where I was sure I would die. Perhaps this isn't a pleasant memory, but it is a strong one.

4) We quickly realized that we had to break the nights up into "shifts." Daniel took the first, I took the second and then either my mom or Daniel's mom took the third. One of the most precious memories I have of those first weeks is of crawling into bed with Daniel after my shift and both of us being far too exhausted for words-- but he would reach over and hold my hand, and that is how I would fall asleep.

5) I was overwhelmed during those first months because Carver rarely let us put him down. During the times when I struggled the most I was comforted by the idea that years later I would look back and know that I held my son for most of the first 6 weeks of his life. Literally held him in my arms.

6) I miss middle of the night feedings. Really, I do. I miss those hours where the house was dark and quiet. I would sit on the couch, watching shows I had taped throughout the day (anything to avoid late night infomercials), while Carver ate and then slept. Usually I would sleep some too-- sitting up, holding Carver. I don't wish Carver still got up that often-- trust me, we did that for nine long months. But, I miss the quiet time-- when it was just the two of us.

7) I really miss the months before Carver could roll over. We would spend hours in bed together. Me dozing while he kicked and "talked," and moved his little arms and legs around. He would do this for an hour or two in the mornings and then fall back asleep for awhile. Which meant there was a stretch of time when I didn't have to get up until 11:00 a.m. or so. It was nice. Really nice.




8) I have loved the whole process of learning to do things with a child. At the beginning even simple things seemed so impossible once you threw a child into the mix. But, it was very satisfying--the process of realizing that I can manage to do just about anything with him that I need to.

9) In general, I really miss certain sounds he has made in the past and then stopped making-- or tricks and gestures that he only did for a phase and then moved on to other things. I wish he would learn new things, but keep the old cute little things too...

10) I miss his baby yawns...



And just for fun, here are a couple of things I do not miss.

1) Spitting-up-- Not gone, but very infrequent now.


2) Swaddling-- I liked that it helped him sleep, but I hated the process of swaddling him.

Thanksgiving

Last year, of course, I was in no position to be traveling anywhere for Thanksgiving. I would have never survived a car trip of any sort when I was 36 wks pregnant (and ginormous) last Thanksgiving. Then, Carver arrived just before Christmas so I had not been to Bartow for a holiday in quite a long time.



Luckily, this year we were able to spend almost a week in Bartow over the Thanksgiving holiday-- and I loved every minute of it. I like to do new things for holidays; travel or celebrate them at my own home...but there is just something about holidays in Bartow, celebrating the way we did while we were growing up. It's nostalgic, I guess. My current plan (or hope) is to never go more than 2 or 3 years without returning home for the holiday season. Christmas is my favorite-- but Thanksgiving this year was pretty fun too.

We began the trek to FL by attempting, for the very first time, to try driving overnight with Carver. We woke the poor sleeping baby up at about 11:00 on Monday night, packed him into the car in his pj's and headed out of town. All in all I would say that the drive down was a big success. Carver (and I ) slept the majority of the time. The girls were curled up on their beds on the floorboard of the backseat and baby Winston was snuggled up with Daniel in the front (we were in the big truck). Daniel stayed awake thanks to 2 "5 Hour Energy" drinks... I woke up periodically to check in with him and all was well-- though he got a little loopy after the second drink. Luckily by that time we were in Lakeland and meeting my parents for an early breakfast. We made the trip in record time-- always a plus with a baby on board.

My favorite part of being in Bartow is just getting to spend time with my parents and, more importantly, watch them play with Carver. He adores them. My mom is better at entertaining him than I am and is incredibly patient. I'm a lot like my mom, but I did not inherit her patience with kids. Too bad. We spent the first couple of days resting, eating, shopping, playing, etc.




For Thanksgiving lunch we headed down to Aunt Ginger and Uncle Dwight's house along with all of the family (my cousins) and had a fun time eating good food (classic favorites), and it was nice to see Carver interact with my extended family.


Friday we headed to Lowry Park Zoo which has become something of a tradition when Carver and I are in Florida. I love zoos, I always have. And, Carver has now been 4 times in this first year of his life. I'm determined that he will like zoos too. Next was lunch at Jason's Deli (one of my favorites). All in all a good day.

On Saturday, Daniel, Carver and I headed down to Naples for the wedding of our good friend, Krystal. We have known Krystal for-- probably a decade or so-- and it was incredibly special to get to a be a part of her day. The wedding was beautiful, she was beautiful, and I got to spend some time with some of my favorite people-- our Crestridge friends :) These girls have been an incredible blessing to me, and I love them dearly.

(Krystal, Erika, and Beth)


(The whole Crestridge crew)

Carver even had a friend to play with! These boys are about 3 months apart in age and I have serious plans for them to be good friends and camp pals. Can't wait :)

(Carver meeting [for the second time] Beth's sweet and adorable son, Noah)

Returning to GA after a visit in Florida is always hard for me. I miss my parents and I wished they lived closer. Christmas, however, is just around the corner and we have big plans for the holiday-- birthday parties, traveling, family time, etc. Carver's first real Christmas should be very memorable.

(Disclaimer: All wedding pics included here were stolen from Erika!)

Eleven Months

(Isn't this picture hilarious?)

Let's pretend that this post is actually dated somewhere around Nov. 21st, you know, when Carver actually turned 11 months old... I'm SO late, again.


Predictably, Carver turning 11 months old has sent me into a rather obsessive state of sentimentality. Part of it is nostalgic-- thinking about where I was at this time last year... Enormous and miserable and so sure I would never survive the last weeks until he arrived. But the other part of me is remembering little details of the last 11 months...phases that he has long since outgrown, special moments with just me and him. Small and big things that I will hold in my heart until the day I die. There is too much to get into in this post, but I'm thinking about sharing them in another post soon to come. Stay tuned.

On to month eleven highlights (in no particular order):

1) Teeth!-- 7-- three on the bottom and 4 on the top. They are oh so cute. He also likes to have his teeth brushed, which is great. I would hate to be that mom who takes her kid to the dentist for the first time and all of his baby teeth are about to rot out of his head. That would be humiliating.

2) WALKING!!!-- Well, not all the time, exactly. He tends to attempt walking 2-3 times a day and takes maybe 5 steps or so at a time. We try to make a really big deal out of it so I do think he is pleased with himself when he successfully walks. He seems in no real hurry to give up crawling, which is fine by me. It'll come soon enough.

3) Waving-- sadly he has only been doing this for a month or so and he is already not doing it as often as he once did. He started by just randomly sticking his arm straight up in the air...then he started waving his little hands. The general public (at the grocery store, Wal-mart, church, etc) all found this vastly entertaining. Alas, he doesn't seem to find it all that amusing anymore.

4) Sleeping-- Carver is consistently sleeping through the night, every night. Hallelujah.

5) Napping-- still 2 naps a day. 10:30 a.m. and 3:00 p.m. Praying that since he waited until he was 4 months old to take naps that he will keep his 2 naps a day for four months longer than other kids.

6) New tricks taught by Grandmama: 1) Shaking things-- if it is meant to be shaken, to make a noise or whatever, he now will do so if you tell him to. 2) Climbing down/off things "feet first." You know, rolling onto his tummy and then shimmying down in a safe manner rather than flying head first off of something. Thanks Grandmama!

7) Food-- Carver l.o.v.e.s. level 2 baby food. We can now get him to choke down Level 3 foods, but he acts like we are torturing him. Puffs, according to Carver, are meant to be played with, not eaten. (As a side note, Lea loves them) Getting a little bit paranoid that I will have a kindergartner who will only eat pureed foods...

8) Play time: Carver is a whirlwind of energy and activity. He has one speed and it is super fast. He flies around the house (unless in baby jail), leaving a wake of destruction in his path. I longingly miss the days of my house being (relatively) clean and picked up. I try, I really do. But, Carver loves to: unload drawers, shelves, baskets; spread his toys out all over the house so he never has to look far for one; dump water bowls and cups left too close to the edge of a table; and drag everything out of my closet (that he can reach). The mess bothers me, but sometimes it is easier to let him "play" how he chooses...

9) More about playtime: I really love that Carver is getting old enough to actually play with us. There is little he loves more than us sitting/laying on the floor and letting him climb and crawl all over us. He laughs and plays and gives hugs . He thinks my hair in a ponytail is hilarious and if I am sitting on the floor he will stand behind me and laugh and laugh at it. He also likes to pull up our shirt and put his open, wet, slobbery mouth on our stomachs. He thinks this is also hilarious. He'll do it over and over and over. It's sort of annoying, really. He gets very frustrated if I hold my shirt down so he can't do it. So far he has only done it to me and Daniel. It could get awkward if he takes this new game and tries it on other people...

10) Carver still loves the three dogs. Especially baby Winston. Probably because Winston does not actively avoid him. Also, if one of the dogs walks into the room he will almost always wave at them. He waves at the fish in the aquarium too...

Recent funny Carver moments:

* The other day I was distracted by something and when I looked over at the couch to check on Carver I see him grabbing Lea by the back leg and trying to pull her off the couch. Lea, bless her heart, is just focusing on staying on the couch and not actively trying to rip his face off.

* Carver has learned how to open the lid on his trash can (the one specifically for diapers). Yesterday I'm in the kitchen and when I glance into the living room to see what he is up to I realize he has dragged a dirty diaper out of his nursery and is chewing on it while watching t.v. Awesome.

A Little Fun at the Beach

Here's a little clip from Carver's first experience in the ocean. He had been to the beach before, but we had never "let go" of him to play in the sand/water. He seemed to love it!!

Halloween Weekend

(Thanks sis for the fun bib--and the pumpkin socks featured later)

I've never been particularly inclined to really celebrate Halloween (though I do love to dress the dogs up). Turns out dressing a baby up is way more fun. But, I'm getting ahead of myself.


This year our good friends Darin, Courtney and their little one, Whitney came up to spend the weekend with us. Court and I had started planning this weekend about 4 months ago and it turned out to be the perfect way to celebrate Carver and Whitney's first "real" holiday. (I don't count last Christmas really, though Carver had arrived, since neither of us were very conscious or aware at that time).
Courtney and Darin are a perfect match for us. Court and I are like twins separated at birth-- in a spiritual sense, clearly not a physical one... But we are so much alike. We have even managed to handle the whole motherhood thing in practically identical ways. It's crazy how similar we are.


You would think that adding a second baby to our house would make for a chaotic weekend but it was so easy to have them here. Whitney is a tiny, precious, calm baby who tolerated Carver and all of his craziness very well. Even when he crawled up to her, shoved her over, and kept right on going. (Thoughts of my precious boy turning into a bully went flying through my head). I love, love, love it that Courtney seems totally at ease here...fixing dinner one night, always helping clean up, etc. It makes me feel warm and fuzzy and such.



A huge positive part of this relationship is that Daniel and Darin get along so well. They played golf and watched football and kept the kiddos for us so Court and I could take a much needed break. I am so thankful that they have become friends.

We spent the weekend just catching up, playing with the kids, cooking meals together, eating BBQ, visiting Babyland General, carving pumpkins, and dressing the kids up in matchy matchy clothes. I loved every minute of it.

The downside of course, is that I felt that much lonelier when Courtney left. I have tried and tried to talk her into moving up here. I mean, there are houses available right here in our little neighborhood. We could be together all the time. And, you know, Demorest has so much to offer....

Maybe one day.

I can't wait until we get to see them all again. And I especially can't wait to plan our first family vacation together. I have no idea where we will go but it doesn't really matter. We always have a perfect visit when we get to be together.


** Special thanks to Court for bringing fun Halloween clothes for Carver: cute pajamas, onesie and bib! I loved that the kids matched :)